Fourth of July was a really memorable one for my family this year. Not only was it Ethan’s first Fourth of July, but we also got the unexpected news that we would be expecting again. After feeling fatigued all weekend no matter how much sleep I got, I decided to take a pregnancy test, and sure enough, it came up positive. Although my husband and I were planning on waiting to conceive until next year, we are thrilled at the prospect of another little one.
Even though I’m excited, I also am finding myself terrified. Ethan isn’t even a year old yet, and will only be a little over a year and a half when the new baby is born. I’m scared of having this close in age. Will Ethan understand there is another baby in mommy and daddy’s life? Will Ethan still be nursing? How do we manage to cosleep with a newborn without waking up a toddler? This of course opens up the possibility they will be playmates when they are older and hopefully the best of friends.
Early pregnancy terrifies me. Having had a first trimester miscarriage in 2014 (you can read my full miscarriage story here) it’s virtually all I can think about. Do I tell other people to share in our joy? Do I keep it to myself in case of a pregnancy loss? I’ve decided on a mixture of the two. Letting close family and friends (and the entire internet I suppose by posting this), but choosing to wait to tell my coworkers at my away from home job. Will breastfeeding and pumping hurt the new baby? Most information points to no, but it seems the jury is still out. However, it doesn’t keep my mind from thinking that.
I suppose I should call my doctor soon; but then they will want to do a dating scan and that scares me. What if I hear the dreaded words ‘no heartbeat’? Will I be able to handle that a second time? Will I be able to handle not knowing?
Overall, my husband and I are excited with the prospect of our growing family. We’re financially and emotionally ready for the continuing journey through parenthood. And although it wasn’t exactly the timing we had planned, we wouldn’t change anything about it.
I bet Ethan will be just fine. My first came in October 2009 and then my second in Janurary 2011, just 15 months apart. To an extent, we let our first dictate how things went. We didn’t force co sleeping, it just happened. When the second came, some nights they both slept with us and some nights only one. Number 1 ended up loving sleeping on his fold out cars couch on the floor next to our bed. It all works out. Now that they are 6 and 5, and we now have a third, they are the absolute best friends.
Thank you for your kind words. I love the idea of just going with the flow and letting the children dictate what they need, especially when it comes to sleep arrangements. It’s so awesome to hear they are so close! I’m hopeful that ours will be too.
It is like I could of written this myself. My little dude is 10 months old and I just found out Im due for round two in March. I had two miscarriages before my first and Im finding it hard to get to excited because Im scared I will lose this one too, while at the same time terrified they will be so close!
We got this mama!
We’re almost like baby twinsies! It’s a very strange in between. I’m excited, but trying not to get ahead of myself. I’m nervous of both outcomes!
I have my first ultrasound today, so I’m hoping for good news.
We’ll keep our fingers crossed together. ❤